Really? Tell me you can do better than that. No. Seriously, you really can do better than that. Please don’t tell me you want to look presentable or beautiful. Who has been lying to you? Who has been telling you all that nonsense that you are not presentable without a weave or some sort of hair extensions? In this day and age? You still believe that rubbish? Come on! Really?
I just don’t understand women who are so stuck in hair extensions and no matter how much you try to assure them that they really would be just as beautiful if not more beautiful with their natural hair, they just seem not to get there. And in most cases, the hairline is so gone and they are looking for miracle product that will grow their hair back. No miracle product is out there that will sort you out before you stop doing what caused the traction alopecia in the first place. Hair growth aids will only work after you stop the pulling damage. Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against hair extensions. Whether you want to go the human hair route or synthetic hair, I really do not care. I believe hair extensions have a part to play in many healthy hair routines and I personally do use extensions from time to time. What I care about is a woman being so imprisoned by hair extensions that they behave like a chain smoker. In this case a chain weaver. They cannot even imagine themselves without fake hair. It’s more like substance abuse where you know the consequences of chronic weaving but you simply do not have the power within you to stop the cycle. Come on! Really?
When people ask me what product they can use to grow back their hairline, my first question is, “What caused your hairline to start receding?” My advice is always, “Stop pulling your hair all the time and wear your hair out more to give it a break and time to breathe. Chronic hair extensions cause more harm than good especially when not done correctly.”
I seriously think that is when self acceptance and embracing oneself comes in and unless that has been resolved, that weave ain’t going nowhere babe. Those hair extensions are will always be a part of you. You are stuck in that bondage. Get over the argument that it is not self hate. If you cannot stand your natural hair, call it whatever you like but deep inside, you know where you stand. And for us black Africans, hair is not just hair. It is political, cultural and part of our history. I am not trying to tell you what to do with your hair but I just want to give you a little shake and wake you up so you can smell the coffee.
A friend once said, and I think she also heard it from somewhere, “you have fake hair, fake nails, fake facial complexion, a fake husband should also do” And another friend who has natural hair but vows not to be seen without foundation and all the make up her face can take, said her husband said, women are so fake these days. You never know her actual hair, the color of her lips, her actual complexion and many other things until you marry her and see her without all the make up and the fake things she heaps on herself. Come on! If the fake hair is just part of protective styling, at some point, your man should have seen your actual hair. Unless of course you are not so confident that you are beautiful in your own skin, your own hair and all.
Are you addicted weaving or hair extensions and not sure what to do and I know just ranting at you will not help you much except wake you up so you can see the multiple options you have with natural hair. The first step to wearing more of your hair and leaving hair extensions as a form of protective styling only is to get used to you with your hair and then take her for a walk in your neighborhood, to the shops, to church, to work and soon you will be able to take her anywhere without even thinking about it. Discover yourself and take time to embrace the person you really are. Become comfortable in your skin and live life as you.
I know this is a sensitive issue but I just felt led to get it out. Now I’m at peace with myself.
What do you think, should a woman strive for beauty no matter the damage?